the sexual market with iconic shooter protags is surprisingly slim. you cant fuck duke cuz he doesnt get any action. you cant fuck doomguy cuz he doesnt know what sex is. you cant fuck master chief cuz they neutered him. you cant fuck samus cuz shes out of your league
[ID: post by @tricktster, “boss today asked me if I knew what a bear was and it took the incredible effort of forcing every bone in my body to solidify into one giant Super Bone and in the process fusing my jaw shut for me to stop myself from saying, "uh, yeah dude, you but gay.”“
In the reblog is text in the Disco Elysium gameplay format;
ENCYCLOPEDIA [Formidable: Failure] - You know what a bear is. It’s a large, furry mammal.
RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - You also know that this is not what they’re talking about. It’s probably some kind of euphemism. Maybe, they know you don’t know, and they’re keeping you out of the loop, on purpose.
REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - Kitsuragi nods in silent agreement; he must know what they’re getting at. Maybe, he’ll let you in on it.
YOU - (Whisper) Kim, what’s a bear?
KIM KITSURAGI - He ignores your question completely.
EMPATHY [Impossible: Success] - This is not the lieutenant’s normal blasé disinterest. On the contrary, he’s being purposefully silent. Imperceptibly, he’s straining. It’s like he’s trying to fuse every bone in his body together, in a concentrated effort to keep his jaw from moving.
His mind has something to say, but his body will not let it out.
He’s thinking, "You, but gay.”
1. Me?
2. What the hell does that even mean?
3. How does he know I’m not gay?
4. I could be gay.
5. “Kim, how do you know I’m not gay?”
The next reblog continues;
YOU - Me?
EMPATHY - Yes, you. Who else?
YOU - What the hell does that even mean?
EMPATHY [Impossible: Failure] - You have no idea.
YOU - How does he know I’m not gay?
RHETORIC - He’s just assuming. Probably because you’ve never brought it up. And you didn’t know what a bear was.
DRAMA [Heroic: Failure] - Yeah, that’s it. No other reason.
INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - Just between you and me, it might be related to the “ex-something”.
YOU - I could be gay.
RHETORIC - You could. There’s only one way to find out. Ask Kim.
LOGIC [Easy: Success] - Actually, there are many other ways. You might want to wait and think about this before laying your cards out like that.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Challenging: Success] - Yeah, there are *lots* of ways. You should try putting your arm around Kim’s shoulder. Just see what happens.
For those who don’t know, r/place is where you can place one single pixel on a huge canvas–and are then locked out of placing another pixel for a long while. The amount of collaboration necessary to successfully do this is incredible.
*takes off my shirt in front of my love interest so she can see all my scars like in an angsty book scene*
Her, delicately tracing them with her fingertips: what……happened to you
Me: WELL that one’s where I lied down on a lightbulb and THAT one is from running through cornstalks barefoot and THAT one is because I kept scratching a mosquito bite in my sleep and THAT one is from fighting a goose and tHIs is from when I fell through a window in a tickle fight, an-
i love how whenever something gets popular the underground tormented avant garde bloggers start becoming self conscious of liking it/finding it funny, and it eventually evolves into aggression towards it. doesnt matter what it is. unrelated but i saw someone call isopods cringe today
ALT
